I'm glad you came back
by leafs nation
Summary: Jane goes through some emotional turmoil after leaving the rest of the group behind at the observation deck. What made her come back, after being convinced that being alone was the only safe way to go? One-shot!


"Can't I come with you?"

"No… it, uh… it doesn't work that way," I stutter, grimacing as she looks upon me in sadness. God damn that look… She doesn't want me to go, but why? After everything that's happened, with threatening to kill that kid on the observation deck, fighting with the rest of the group, and Sarah? How could she possibly ask me that after the way she died?

Clementine couldn't actually… _care, _right? About… me?

…No, that can't be it. Immediately shaking these thoughts aside, I recollect myself before digging into my pocket and pulling out the nail file I had shown her earlier.

Jamie's nail file… God damn it, is this supposed to be some kind of "passing the torch" bullshit?

"Here," I hold it out, waiting patiently until she grabs it out of my hand, "versatility is not overrated."

"Thanks…" she mumbles, causing my insides to squeeze even more tightly. Wow… Clem really _doesn't _want me to leave! How could it possibly have come to this? I mean, we've known each other for, what, three days now? Did I really have that much of an impact on her?

Or was it Clementine who had the impact on _me? _

"Yeah… well, just remember: if things go south, know that you can make it on your own," I inform her, watching as the conflict dances within her eyes. "You don't owe these people a damn thing."

"I… owe them everything…" she tries to argue, but even I can see through that. I've gotten pretty good at reading body language and hidden meanings behind people's words – trust me, when you're dealing with snakes like Carver, after a while you get used to picking out whether people are telling you the honest answer or not.

In his case, it almost certainly never was the truth.

Clementine looks into my eyes to see if I'll change my mind… and I almost do. A part of me kind of wants to stay; to stay with my _little partner _and not abandon yet another group to find someplace better.

But no… this can't happen. Like I had told her earlier, this group is cracking. And I'm not going to stick around to wait for the bomb to go off, whether it's Kenny or Rebecca or anyone who's still left alive.

And I refuse – flat out _refuse_ – to watch Clementine go down the same path as the rest of them. I'm not so sure that I could handle it again, especially knowing how capable the kid can actually be. It'd be a cruel twist of fate to know that a survivor like Clem got brought down by an assholish group like the one she's got herself mixed up in.

Besides… looking at Clementine just constantly reminds me of Jamie, and all the times that I could've been a better sister to her; a better friend and confidant.

So I nod a curt goodbye, slowly making my way down the stairs as Clementine sits in between the railings; watching me with sadness as I unlock the door and head back out into the wilderness. I try to ignore the fact that Clem's eyes are still glancing at the back of my skull, but I end up looking one last time at the observation deck.

Once I notice that Luke has gone and stood right beside her, I can't take it anymore. Sprinting off into the woods, I put that place behind me and don't look back.

It's better this way – I'm sure it is. For me and for them.

…..

Brr…. Ugh, damn it's cold out here! You know, maybe choosing to head out in the middle of the night on one of the coldest days in a while wasn't the greatest idea. I can see just fine since I'm not in the forest any longer, but I'm freezing my ass off the further along I walk.

Maybe if I turned back…

No, I can't do that now – not after the things I said. It'd look like I was unsure of myself, and couldn't keep a level head in times of crisis. Clementine's gone now, and there's nothing I can do about it…

Just got to keep moving forward, find some shelter and try not to die.

"_Being alone is dangerous, too. There's nobody to watch your back – and if you get hurt, there's nobody there to help you get back up."_

"Stop it…" I scold myself, smacking my forehead lightly three times to get her words out of my head. "You don't need anybody… The only person you can count on is yourself."

Placing my hands in my pockets, I kick over a rolling stone and continue to move forward; past the hay bales and down the path until I get to a makeshift rest stop – which turns out to be a pair of big rocks. Settling myself down, I rub my face tiredly and comb my hands through my short hair, not wanting to feel as though I've made the wrong choice by coming out here alone.

But… that's just what I do! Being in a big group is dangerous, and especially with how dysfunctional theirs was, I definitely made the right choice by leaving. No good has ever come of me being around a bunch of strangers for too long – that asshole in Washington who got everybody killed trying to get to him certainly proved that.

So yeah, I'm in the right on this one! There was no other choice – I had to get out, no matter who it was that I left behind this time. Things are much safer being on your own, and you don't have to worry about any heartbreak this way. When you're on your own, you don't need to worry about… letting a sister die after they've given up, or watch as your best friends are torn apart like animals…

If that's the case though… then why do I still feel like shit?

It couldn't be… no. That little kid was just a protégé; someone who I helped out a little bit so that she could survive an extra day or two at the most. Give it enough time and everybody's luck runs out. It doesn't matter who you are – it happens to everybody.

But maybe I could've…

I sit on that rock for at least ten minutes with my chin in my hand, just thinking about everything and everyone. Luke, Bonnie, Mike, Rebecca, AJ, Kenny… Clem. How long is she going to last in that group? Maybe another two weeks at the most, three tops? With Kenny the way he is, Clementine's life could potentially be in danger! And here I am, sitting on a fucking rock and trying to come up with a positive side to all of this.

Except this time, and this time only, I don't see a positive side. I just left that kid to get eaten alive by the sharks surrounding her. That group is cracking – I've seen it before. It won't be long before they start turning on her… but what do I care? According to Rebecca, I'm just some _angry loner _who'd rather take care of herself than help out those that I care about! They wouldn't want me back; probably wouldn't accept me even if I asked.

Besides, it's too late to return now, anyways. I'm out in the middle of fucking nowhere, and Clem's nowhere near here.

Clementine… Fuck, I think I might've just made a terrible mistake.

She's not like the others… not like Jamie… not like Sarah… Clem's a _survivor_, and deserves to have a chance at this world. She's not ready to give up that easily – Clementine will fight to the last breath to stay alive.

Maybe… maybe she and I are more alike than I realized.

Groaning in annoyance, I snap myself out of this stupor and keep walking. No use in beating yourself over the head with the same old argument – Clementine's gone, and there's nothing you can do about it. She can live her own life, and be with people that are a lot more likeable than me…

Suddenly, I stop in my tracks as I hear some hushed voices that are coming my way. Quickly leaping into the bushes, I try my best to be silent as a small group of people speak in a language that I've never even heard of before. Just need to keep calm and not make too much noise…

Wait a minute – that's the guy! The kid that was on the observation deck with us, and that… must be his sister. She doesn't look fucking sick to me, that liar! Why are they even out here, anyways?

Not being able to understand what they're saying, I continue to stick in stealth mode until they finally leave the area, at which point I let out a sigh and hop out of the bushes. Rubbing a bunch of twigs and snow off of my jacket, I wrap my arms around me and try to keep myself warm.

I'll admit, this probably would be a hell of a lot easier with other people around…

…

Daylight breaks, and I'm aroused by the chatter of a nearby raccoon. Widening my eyes, I quickly back up and try getting away from the thing – who knows? Maybe it has rabies or something, you can never be too sure these days!

I'm not the biggest animal lover around, in case you haven't noticed.

With a hiss of warning, the raccoon scurries away into the brush as I breathe out a sigh of relief. That may have been a missed opportunity to snag myself a meal, but the thing took me by surprise.

Besides, I'm not really that hungry anyways. Too much on my mind right now to pay that much attention to my stomach.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, my ears perk up as I hear the sound of gunfire not too far away from here… and loads of shouting. The foreigners who I saw the other day must be fighting right now – whether it's from walkers or people I'm not sure, and frankly don't really care. As long as they're keeping the bastards busy, then all the power to them.

"_YOU ASKED FOR THIS SHIT!" _I hear a voice call out, which causes me to stop and turn my head back for just a moment. There's only one guy I know with a stupid, angry accent like that, and no way in hell am I going back for him. He can handle himself just fine… at least according to him.

Rolling my eyes, I stand up and wipe some snow off of my jeans before heading out. Might as well make some miles between us so that I don't get into trouble.

"_AGGGHHHH!"_

Stopping dead in my tracks, I clench a fist and find that my whole body is shaking in built-up anger. Those motherfuckers… I know that yell from anywhere, and I swear to god if they laid one finger on her…

Looking over my shoulder, I sigh heavily before making a decision that'll impact me for the rest of my life. Groaning, I reluctantly start to head over to the source of the fighting; pulling out my knife and trying my best not to get spotted. It takes me a while to get over there, but I see one of the foreigners shooting at Clem's group like a raging madman.

I really don't want to do this, but what other choice do I have?

Sneaking up behind him, the man gargles on blood as I stab him right in the back of the neck; turning around with wide eyes as his life fades. Kenny finally ends it with a bullet to the guy's head, while I just stand there in shock at the act I just committed.

The only reason that I came back at all walks towards me gratefully, but I still feel like shit for killing this man – I didn't even know him… but he could've killed Clementine.

"Thanks… for saving us," she wheezes out, seemingly out of breath as I slowly nod but bite my lip with remorse.

As long as my little partner in crime is alive and well, then… I'll do what I have to. No hesitation, regardless of the consequences. Clementine is willing and able to survive, unlike Jamie or Sarah were.

And I'll be damned if she ends up like either of them.


End file.
